![]() The ramifications of staying versus leaving loom large, and it is normal to feel paralyzed. Whether to end one’s marriage is arguably one of the most challenging decisions many of us will make in our lifetime. If children are involved, the stakes are exceptionally high, and so, understandably, we can (also) feel conflicted. ![]() We can hover on hope’s edge but opt to no longer risk connection. We can feel utterly paralyzed or steeped in self-righteous indignation. Marital strife is a tempest of confusing emotions. They are powerful because they poke at our hopes, fears, and, most importantly, the unknowable.Īs a relationship expert, I suspect the fear of regret informs our decision to stay or leave an ailing marriage and influences our willingness to risk. They seek to discern the cost of taking action versus staying put. Picture yourself gazing into the smokey orb while asking a series of questions: Will I be happy if I stay? Will my problems follow me if I leave? Is our marriage doomed to contempt, devoid of kindness, and forever riddled with blame no matter what we do?Īt their core, such questions deal with regret and how it pertains to a relationship in crisis. IMAGINE HOLDING A crystal ball that could reveal your marriage’s fate in ten, fifteen, or twenty years.
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